This is the playlist I made back at the start of the year and as we only have three months left I figured I'd finally release this.
That's it for today, but we have big big news coming, so be warned.
And enjoy the tunes.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Leaving.
I am going to make this an open letter.
To all my friends at Ipoly.
I'm leaving after this year ends. The strain on me and my family has become to much, I need to go with my gut on this one, shutting down a lot of chances in the process.
Ipoly has been good to me, you have been good to me, and I am so extremely sad to go. There is a lump in my chest and tears in my eyes. Because I love I Poly more then anything.
But I have to go.
To my friends.
How will I ever be able to express how hard it will be to leave you. I love you guys, even the people who I'm not super close to. Not being there everyday, not being in drama.... this is one of the hardest choices I've had to make. You kept me here, alive, and health. <3 I'm sorry.
Brooke Cooper.
Almost two years together. I want to cry because not seeing you, hugging you, or just being around you makes me sad. You've been a great friend to me and I wish that I wasn't doing this because I'm going to miss you so much. I'm so worried that you won't want to be my friend out of school because I wont be worth the effort. I hope that won't ever be true. (I hope that for Kyndra and Karina and Brooke Bailey and Bobbi, freaking Jacob and Maya and all the non sophomores too.) I love you, you've been like a big sister, best friend, platonic girl friend, to me since freshmen year. You were my first friend I ever made in high school and I'm so happy that I got to meet you. I hope that your "hunter senses" work over the Internet and various phone calls that will be exchanged between us.
( I seriously want to cry so hard right now I'm going to miss you so impossibly much I didn't think I would ever miss anyone this much other then Danny.)
<3 Song of the day is
Dammit by Blink 182
I guess this is growing up
As always,
Stay classy.
To all my friends at Ipoly.
I'm leaving after this year ends. The strain on me and my family has become to much, I need to go with my gut on this one, shutting down a lot of chances in the process.
Ipoly has been good to me, you have been good to me, and I am so extremely sad to go. There is a lump in my chest and tears in my eyes. Because I love I Poly more then anything.
But I have to go.
To my friends.
How will I ever be able to express how hard it will be to leave you. I love you guys, even the people who I'm not super close to. Not being there everyday, not being in drama.... this is one of the hardest choices I've had to make. You kept me here, alive, and health. <3 I'm sorry.
Brooke Cooper.
Almost two years together. I want to cry because not seeing you, hugging you, or just being around you makes me sad. You've been a great friend to me and I wish that I wasn't doing this because I'm going to miss you so much. I'm so worried that you won't want to be my friend out of school because I wont be worth the effort. I hope that won't ever be true. (I hope that for Kyndra and Karina and Brooke Bailey and Bobbi, freaking Jacob and Maya and all the non sophomores too.) I love you, you've been like a big sister, best friend, platonic girl friend, to me since freshmen year. You were my first friend I ever made in high school and I'm so happy that I got to meet you. I hope that your "hunter senses" work over the Internet and various phone calls that will be exchanged between us.
( I seriously want to cry so hard right now I'm going to miss you so impossibly much I didn't think I would ever miss anyone this much other then Danny.)
<3 Song of the day is
Dammit by Blink 182
I guess this is growing up
As always,
Stay classy.
War
So I've been away again, as is the norm, but in my travels through the last week somethings have been plaguing my mind.
Are people inherently good or bad?
A few reasons this thought process has been adopted is because we're reading Frankenstein in English. Let me tell you right now, Mary Shelley was not a very diverse writer. Also I hate everyone except the Creature (who I have named Adam because I can.) And also because we've been looking at more recent wars in history. Most notably the South Asian conflicts and the Vietnam war.
We had a veteran come in today and he talked about what it was like being on ground. We asked him about what it was like and what were some experiences he had. He gave a presentation, on one of the slides he had something about a "Kit Carson Scout." or the North Vietnamese solders who defected to the south. I asked about why they were called Kit Carson scouts and he replied that it sounded like it was from a western.
Later he opened it up to Q and A, I asked what his nickname was if he had one. There was a giggle through the class and he responded that his team were named after birds of prey. He listed off some names and we all shook our heads and smiled because that was "cool" to have some sort of calling name.
After the Q and A he had a memorial slide to the people who died in a battle he survived. The names he previously listed were all on this slide. This was the most upsetting thing to me.
We had heard that the North Vietnamese would enlist children to fight in these wars and I wasn't surprised because they do it today. He talked about holes in the ground filled with spikes covered in biological material as a form of booby trap. I wasn't surprised because I had seen it on movies.
But when he got to the final slide and listed off those lost, those birds of prey, I cried. Because this was the part of war that no matter how many videos your teacher shows you, or stats you read, you will never begin to understand the loss that affected those solders. We had only the slightest glimpse of it today, and it is a terrible fact that I wish no one would ever have to experience.
And it's made me thing that maybe at our core we are not made to love one another. Because to make anyone experience the total loss of people you protected, it's insane to me that is possible.
I'm still searching for a good answer to my question, and maybe I won't ever get there, but I'm closer to understanding it now then I was before.
I'd like to thank Colonial Cooper for coming and talking to my class today, and I'd like to take a minute to thank all of the veterans and service members who may be reading. Your job is not easy, and from what I have learned, one that is not often enjoyed.
There will be no song today, but I am going to link you to a good website to learn more about the veterans memorial for Vietnam. Vietnam Veterans Memorial
Thank you.
Are people inherently good or bad?
A few reasons this thought process has been adopted is because we're reading Frankenstein in English. Let me tell you right now, Mary Shelley was not a very diverse writer. Also I hate everyone except the Creature (who I have named Adam because I can.) And also because we've been looking at more recent wars in history. Most notably the South Asian conflicts and the Vietnam war.
We had a veteran come in today and he talked about what it was like being on ground. We asked him about what it was like and what were some experiences he had. He gave a presentation, on one of the slides he had something about a "Kit Carson Scout." or the North Vietnamese solders who defected to the south. I asked about why they were called Kit Carson scouts and he replied that it sounded like it was from a western.
Later he opened it up to Q and A, I asked what his nickname was if he had one. There was a giggle through the class and he responded that his team were named after birds of prey. He listed off some names and we all shook our heads and smiled because that was "cool" to have some sort of calling name.
After the Q and A he had a memorial slide to the people who died in a battle he survived. The names he previously listed were all on this slide. This was the most upsetting thing to me.
We had heard that the North Vietnamese would enlist children to fight in these wars and I wasn't surprised because they do it today. He talked about holes in the ground filled with spikes covered in biological material as a form of booby trap. I wasn't surprised because I had seen it on movies.
But when he got to the final slide and listed off those lost, those birds of prey, I cried. Because this was the part of war that no matter how many videos your teacher shows you, or stats you read, you will never begin to understand the loss that affected those solders. We had only the slightest glimpse of it today, and it is a terrible fact that I wish no one would ever have to experience.
And it's made me thing that maybe at our core we are not made to love one another. Because to make anyone experience the total loss of people you protected, it's insane to me that is possible.
I'm still searching for a good answer to my question, and maybe I won't ever get there, but I'm closer to understanding it now then I was before.
I'd like to thank Colonial Cooper for coming and talking to my class today, and I'd like to take a minute to thank all of the veterans and service members who may be reading. Your job is not easy, and from what I have learned, one that is not often enjoyed.
There will be no song today, but I am going to link you to a good website to learn more about the veterans memorial for Vietnam. Vietnam Veterans Memorial
Thank you.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Levels are Hard.
Hello my darlings,
This stuff is hard, acting, reading, writing, being a person is hard. But still we all put impossible effort behind being and doing all this stuff that has such impact on our few trips around the sun. And although my grades are piss pour and the idea that I may not be able to stay with Ipoly next year is looming on the horizon. I still feel like there is hope for me. Hope that I can fix this mess and come out stronger on the other side. And although it's so not going to be easy, I want to be better. But I don't think I have the right motivation. You know when you have to do something because someone else is pushing you to that and you know that if you were doing it for you you could do it. Yeah, that's what I'm feeling right now.
I want to get out of this rut. It's all the same and I need to break out and do this for myself instead of being about pleasing others.
If I'm not pleasing my mother I'm trying to please my family or group or other family. I need to find the motivation to work for myself. So I'm going to set some goals.
RULES FOR CHANGE (goals, ideas to start living for myself)
Do stuff that I love without being afraid of what is thought of me.
Study the way I loved to. I have a thirst for knowledge.
Stop surviving and start thriving. We can do this.
Instead of doing work for a grade, do it for personal pride.
Be proud of what you're doing.
Follow your arrow where ever it points.
Song(s) of the day are Follow your arrow by Kacey Musgraves (I don't normally do country but this song is the exception.) and Once and for All from Newsies
As always,
We need to change this ending.
This stuff is hard, acting, reading, writing, being a person is hard. But still we all put impossible effort behind being and doing all this stuff that has such impact on our few trips around the sun. And although my grades are piss pour and the idea that I may not be able to stay with Ipoly next year is looming on the horizon. I still feel like there is hope for me. Hope that I can fix this mess and come out stronger on the other side. And although it's so not going to be easy, I want to be better. But I don't think I have the right motivation. You know when you have to do something because someone else is pushing you to that and you know that if you were doing it for you you could do it. Yeah, that's what I'm feeling right now.
I want to get out of this rut. It's all the same and I need to break out and do this for myself instead of being about pleasing others.
If I'm not pleasing my mother I'm trying to please my family or group or other family. I need to find the motivation to work for myself. So I'm going to set some goals.
RULES FOR CHANGE (goals, ideas to start living for myself)
Do stuff that I love without being afraid of what is thought of me.
Study the way I loved to. I have a thirst for knowledge.
Stop surviving and start thriving. We can do this.
Instead of doing work for a grade, do it for personal pride.
Be proud of what you're doing.
Follow your arrow where ever it points.
Song(s) of the day are Follow your arrow by Kacey Musgraves (I don't normally do country but this song is the exception.) and Once and for All from Newsies
As always,
We need to change this ending.
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