Well fuck.

Hi.

So I'm not grounded right now. But I might be soon. Whatever right? I've pretty much ignored everything I love to repent my sins, basically I've been trying to be perfect for my mother. Which is stupid. 

I'm going to be eighteen in two close years (seriously talk about counting down days.) and I need to learn the only person I need to please is myself. I had that down but then I got drawn back into this painful thought that I will ever have the fairy tale happy family. Mine is broken and it doesn't understand how to put love into the atmosphere. Mom isn't talking to me. She never does anymore. 

This is just a side effect of living. We are a cancer on the earth and the universe is radiology treatment attempting to rid the host of malicious cells. It hurts to know that things wont ever be okay between my mother and me. We are just a repeat of every poor constructed mother daughter relationship that's happened in my family history.

I miss my Dad. I wish he was here to guide me through the mine field, or at least crack a joke to ease the tension. I wonder if things would have been different had my dad not died. Would Mom be happy? Would I? 

I had a funny realization yesterday. When I was nine I didn't think I would live to twelve. And when I was twelve I was positive I wouldn't make it to eighteen. Here I am, two years away with the end in sight. I thought for sure I would have given into all the pain and suffering a long time ago. Hell I was institutionalized when I was thirteen and though "This is it, I'm done." And I stood and weathered the storm. 

I think that's a good place to end. Weathering the storm. 

Life sucks most of the time. So learn to love the rain.

Song of the day is Grand Theft Autumn/ Where Is Your Boy By Fall Out Boy

As always,

Stay classy.

CrAcking.

I think I've finally snapped.
I'm sad, and angry, and frustrated all at the same time. Nothing seems to be right. I'm restless, I didn't sleep until 7 AM last night. I'm ticked off at everything. Literally everything has been frustrating me as of the last few days, and there is nothing I can do about it. I want to fix everything. Just magically make all the sadness go away for a week or two. I know that can't happen without my friends.

My friends are the only reason I'm sane. I can promise that if they weren't here I wouldn't make this long haul. Maybe I would, who knows.

I miss writing every day. Even if I did just blabber about my day or me. It was good to see that people care, or are listing. I'm just a sixteen year old tragedy that happens every day. At least I have yet to cook meth or be shot. Or both, both would be bad. I don't even want to talk to my friends anymore. No, I don't want to reach out to them. It hurts admitting that I'm not strong enough to handle this one alone. I was when my Dad died. I was when Mom had another kid and got a new family. When she ditched our plan to be with an asshole. (Though she always did.) I was strong enough when she started drinking again.

But I can't do this alone. This soul crushing sadness that breaks me and cracks my perfect exterior. I just want a promise I can believe in. Someone I know is without a doubt on my side. But that's not how this works. I can't make a wish and have it come true. I have to fight hard, and dream.
I'm sorry there is no song of the day. I just don't know a song that, I lied.
Song of the day is Here Comes the Anxiety by The Wombats
Thanks for listing to me complain.
As always,
Stay classy.

Holiday.

Hello fellow Internet pilgrims,
So let me just start by saying, I am still grounded. I would personally like someone to count the days for me. The task seems tiring and depressing. But I've bee able to get around the brink of bad times.
Okay, so extra credit is kinda annoying. Even more so because I'm broke and can't afford supplies to do this stupid tempest of work. In good news, I have an excuses to get out of the house. I need to start working on papers. My science revision is the important one. Then my issue paper. I'm going to be so freaking exhausted by the end of this week of  "relaxation".

I hope you're doing better then I am, I know I complain a lot, but where else am I going to talk about my suck-y life. It hasn't all sucked, just most of the time. But good news is, if I get a 3.0 on my GPA (grade point average) then I get the Nokia Lumia 1020. Literally my dream phone. I'll even get a wireless plan!
And, in theory, it shouldn't be that difficult to fail math and still get a 3.0. I just have to do super well in all my other classes.

Also here's a tiny recap of last Friday with Brooke:

"Hey Brooke, wanna go to lunch today?" Said the text at almost seven in the morning. It was a mild day for California, and the last day before thanksgiving break. I figured it would be fun to spend some time with my best friend before my mom instigated her N.Korea policy. No phones, no Internet (haha), and no public opinion.
I waited through most of the day without a response. Even though we saw each other for most of the day. I was in Hogans class when I frantically texted her (frantic because my phone was dying) "We still on for lunch??"
She responded promptly. "Hold on."
This made me giggle. Hold on? really? We were on an interstellar light ship and I was supposed to hold on, or maybe she was quoting the (really sorry I'm going to use this purely ironic reference) great Edward Cullen? In actuality she was texting Sam. I got out of class and we went to PE.
I think I've talked about my personal hate of PE, or physical education. There is no education about it. It's just running. But I like PE at Ipoly more then I liked it anywhere else. (Shout out to Mr. Hanke best PE teacher ever.)
We played a rousing game of soccer, where I was allowed to move around. I dropped six people that game, including Brooke. We laughed about it like idiots, I even brought up "Just like old times."
Referring to when we used to tackle each other. And then most awesomely my team won!
So after the game Brooke and I decided to get some grub, to Panda Express. I was worried because 1) I had to walk. And 2) I wasn't sure that they would have vegetarian meals. (HINT: They didn't everything was made with chicken base.)
I love/hate walking. It sucks because my lungs hate me, and I'm a big klutz.
So we walked up to Panda. I was doing pretty well, until we were right next to the stairs leading up to Panda.
My ankle rolled, and then caught on my shoe and snapped. Just like the fortune cookie I would later enjoy. My glasses comically, almost like in Scooby-Doo, flew off my face and I went down. Brooke went after my glasses and I immediately went to my ankle. Surprise surprise, it was the one I had previously broken. Brooke rushed over to me, but it was too late. A passer by had spotted my fallen (and slightly crying) figure. He shouted with a heavy accent,
"Are you okay? Should I call an ambulance?"
Brooke and I said in, what at the time sounded like unison,
"NO! No ambulance."
At this point I was starting to feel the foot swell, and once he was sure that I could handle it, he left with a question,
"Both of you have cell phones?"
Brooke wasted no time, "Yes."
Telepathically we both laughed, both are phones were dead as dinos. After he left Brooke knelt down to replace my glasses on my face.
"Hey there Velma."
She and I both laughed at the ridiculous reference. Then, hopping along on her shoulder, we went inside.
And I proceeded to make bad puns, and occasionally grimace in pain.
My personal favorite pun:
"I came in like a wreaking fall! I never fell so hard before."
or alternatively:
"I had a trip up to Panda... Get it?"

Yeah, that's about it for what Friday was all about. My ankle is doing much better and I fully blame Brooke for making me walk.

Anyways, song of the day is Holiday by Vampire Weekend
Happy Thanksgiving to all those in the states, and for those who celebrate. And for those who don't, eat some pie tomorrow and feel a little bit more freedom. (That was a joke by the way, no one lynch me.)
As always,
Stay classy.

Super F, Sad Faces, and Chicken Little Syndrome.

OK.
Here's the deal, I have a twenty seven percent in math at the current moment. I can get a fifty three if I do a revision for a science paper (more like when, also all classes at Ipoly are connected so a bad grade in one class is a bad grade in all of them.)
Instead of freaking out about it (like I have been for the last maybe two hours) I'm going to focus on getting good grades in all my other classes.
It's a lot like the economy in Greece. To fix the problem, first I must destroy it. So no, I will most likely not be getting outstanding grades in my math class,  but I am going to kick some serious posterior in my other classes.
This is going to be hard. And I'm most likely going to go a little crazy. But in all honesty that's what I'm good at.
I'm good at feeling and emoting and being insane and working. I love the challenge and the rush I get when I'm bad at something, but I finally understand it. I love working hard and getting things done. And I absolutely love projects. I need to stop zoning into the negative and start flushing out the positive.
So here's a list:
1) There is a way out of everything. Even if it's a Captain Jack Sparrow way out.
2) There is always, always, hope for the future. Not even psychic type Pokemon get the hit on the future every time.
3) Nothing lasts forever. Not pain, not school, not bad grades.
4) Did I mention there is always a way out? And most of the time it'll be a back road.
5) It doesn't matter if I call at four in the morning, or three in the afternoon, Danny will be there for me when I need him.
6) I have a full week to figure this plan out. To the last shiny detail of course.

I'm going to be okay. I'm always okay. I've never not been okay. I've been through death, destruction, grounding, bad grades, and terrible parents. This is nothing I haven't faced before. I've been fighting resistance, nearly my entire life. (Panic at the Disco) I'm a big o'l rainbow colored star. And I'm going to be extraordinary.
There was this old book that once told me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
And I think that's pretty cool.
Song of the day is Can't Fight Against the Youth by Panic at the Disco
As always,
Stay classy.
Also there is going to be a theme change right now. I feel like it's time to pull us out of the dark and into something that represents the changes.
P:S do any of you have any ideas for extra credit for a tenth grade English class?

And I was doing so well.

Well, I have contracted the sads.
As well as the headaches and mild " let me just lay here and wallow in my own self pitty forever please because that would be so much easier then being human."
You know what I hate?
Being human. Really, it's not fun or useful. Being sixteen, you can't do anything but cry and wait to lose more friends. Or you could do drugs or drink and take the bite away. But it just sucks. Because there is literally nothing you can do. You're changing and they're changing and nothing is ever remaining. No one ever vocalizes how they feel or what they want. And if they do they are clingy and needy or bitchy.
It's sad.
I'm sad.
School sucked today. It was a very steady decline of meh to worse.

Here's to a better tomorrow.
Song of the day is Ghosts by Mayday Parade
As always,
Stay classy.

Don't You Dare Tell Me Not to Cry.

Dear "STEP-'father'" (I.E not my real dad, AKA no relation to me, Also known as, I so don't need this right now)
Are you serious? 
Really, you aren't getting all over me?
Not pushing? 
That is the most untrue statement I've heard all year. You are not my father you are not in charge of me. Stop, you are going to stop, now. I'm done taking your verbal abuse, and letting you try and control me via my mother. You are a pig, and you do not get to decide how I feel. You do not get to chose my reaction to you continuously telling me I'm not good enough. I cannot wait until I'm eighteen, because you are my new motivation to get out of this toxic house.
-Yours with malice, Hunter.

Hey fellow bloggers.
I'm sixteen, and I am done with the ritualistic verbal torture thrust upon me by my family. Or should I say the people I live with. I really have no real family. My "mother" has been absent in my life more more years then I care to count. My "step father" a misogynistic pig who tries to turn girls into decoration. My "grandmother" the woman I've called Satan since I was six. All the false siblings, and fake mothers, and broken pieces.

I will build a house, no, I will build a home. A warm space that exudes good vibes and radiates light like a prism. I know that for now I'm living in a horror show, but that's only temporary. One day I will be free to live and dream. I wont have to fight anymore.

I know this isn't school related, but it's me related. I love you guys, and writing to you has become a real time. I finally feel better outside of the house. I'm okay at school, I'm not worried about friends and my relationships with them. School, and the stress from school isn't the problem anymore. It's my home life.
WHICH SUCKS BALLS BTW!
anyhow, song of the day is Deja Vu  by Sleeping with Sirens
As always,
Stay classy.
P:S. I'm staying at Ipoly. There is no way that I could leave. Also, I became a vegetarian. Many a thing happens while i'm away.
Have a picture of a puppy to make up for it

Forgive Hunter... FORGIVE
HER!!!

Grounded

Hey Internet prison escape-ys
I'm on lock down at home and illegally using a school computer to update.
Viva la revolution
Anyways that whats the abnormal lack of activity is about,
love you guys thanks for sticking with me.
Okay so I gained some time between now and the next class. Mrs. Thinness went out to get cookie dough or something.
So I'm grounded because of my grades. I'm failing PE and Math. Awesomely enough, it's highly depressing.
I'm going to leave Ipoly, at least for second semester. I want to come back.
I'm also getting a counselor. And help. A lot happened while I was grounded.
As well as another adult saying my mother doesn't have the skills to be a mother.
Bec, my Aussie friend, has sent me a birthday present.
Also I'm sixteen now. So far it sucks.
Yeah.
A lot.
But that's just what's going on right now.
song of the day is love is war by all time low ft. Vic Fuentes
As always,
Stay classy.

An open letter to a person. (Sorry for the inactivity)

To Miss Thin. 

The biggest contributing factor in determining a countries Olympic standing is their population. I theorize that a larger population creates a bustling economy and helps create a larger buzz for the Olympics, bringing more money into the country. Another contribution of a large population is a diversity that smaller populations may not possess. Larger more diverse pools of athletes can create the best possible outcome for an Olympic sport. While at the same time a large population could be crippling. Bigger populations can decrease the chance of finding that all-star athlete that pushes a country to a gold medal.

To clearly explain my reasoning behind this, I have none. This is stupid. I don’t know how or why Olympic medals have anything to do with population. Or anything to do with that list you gave us for that matter. How does this help me in the future? Will knowing the Olympic results for Paraguay really help me on the SAT’s? No, it won’t. The problem is you are so used to giving us an assignment and having us be occupied with it no one would ask questions. Well I like to learn. And I am getting sick and tired of wasting an hour and a half of my life every day for a second vocabulary class.

Now here’s a real question. What is the correlation of students that have an NC in your class who love to learn? Because kids, teens, and young adults love to learn. So stop blaming your bad teaching methods on my class as a whole. Because it’s stupid. Problem is I can’t say any of this. I can’t say how shit I think your class is, or how I wish your over glorified vocab class would kindly go away. I do know that I have gone further over the word count writing a rant about your horrid class then I ever could have made if I was writing a legitimate response to your ridiculous question. Thank you.

With warm regards,

Hunter Baugus.

Absent Slip.

Okay. I'm going to be honest with you.
I've had a terrible year so far. Not going to lie. It's just been bad, I've lost friends and family and hope.
I've hit the point where self harm is becoming a recurring problem with me. Depression has become a problem. I have a heckie load of problems.

And I've been using them as an excuse not to do the things I love (That's a symptom of depression [.x ])
I've tried to get help but, and this is a stretch, I think I may go see the school psychologist. Maybe she has some kind of pamphlet or something that will fix the loss of interest, withdrawal, and constant hopelessness.

Most days I sleep... I don't feel anything when I sleep. Just floaty feelings and flat line meh-ness.
But sometimes (Especially when I'm stressed) I have terrible nightmares.
Most of them are just loneliness, me alone against everything and everyone. It makes school hard. It makes life hard.

But I'm going to try and be a person again. Sorta rehabilitate myself to society.
I'm not going to lie, the harm will stick around for a bit. I feel safer (in a really odd way) when I have scars. Don't know why, maybe the shrink can let me know? haha

Sad jokes, sad sad jokes are how I make my living.
Song of the day is Let's Dance to Joy Division by The Wombats
As always,
Stay Classy.

Oh My God It's So Cold, I Love It!

Hello Internet Puddle Chasers.
Today it rained, and yes it was amazingly awesome.
So story time (After I finish my..... let say.... science current event? yeah that.)
So I get out of Daly's not really knowing where all I'll be going. I hadn't seen Kendra, and I knew that Jacob and Brooke were going to be going on a "date" (It feels like saying "I saw mom and dad kissing, ewwwww!") So I began wandering, until I happened upon one of my most beautiful friends BB (that's Brooke Bailey for the normie term.) and decided to invite myself into whatever she was doing. ( I also tried to convince her to ditch her group meeting and come hang out with me instead.)
Her meeting got canceled, so I invited her with me again, except this time it was raining.
So we begin our walk to Vista, I wanted pie and a soda. Brooke got some cookies. It was a pretty chill shopping trip.
Until we wanted to go back to campus and it started pissing rain outside. I was already soaked and BB was in a skirt. So we laughed for a little while. About the situation, the rain, maybe some of the sad feelings we both felt, who knows. But we laughed and made an escape plan.
We ran to the comfort of another awning. Although it did jack shit because it just harder! It was amazing.
So we decided to throw all caution into the wind and maybe even enjoy it a little.
And we laughed again.
Once we got back on campus, we were soaked and cold and I at least was exhausted from walking. But we got back and it had stopped raining (BB and I had decided the god's were having a wet tee shirt contest, or maybe watching the new season of Supernatural.) There were hugs, and totally sweet worry from Liah who wanted me to take cold medicine so I wouldn't get sick.
But I wouldn't really mind it much, I had too much fun to mind.

Song of the day is Collar Full by Panic! at the Disco and The End of All Things by Panic! at the Disco
My words unspoken can be heard here (and possibly read here.)
As always,
Stay Classy.

Headaches and Good Intentions.

Hello Internet Denizens.
Today was so damn wonderful really I love waking up after minimal hours of sleep, forgetting an important project, getting lectured by my house teacher, and then coming home to a decently shitty environment. It's my favorite- that was Monday me everyone. Let's give her a round of applause.

Hello Internet Recruits.
I'm currently at home very much ill and exhausted. To commemorate that I will tell you what I did last night.

You ready?

I went to sleep.
That's it. So yeah I'm going to finish up the science homework that is due Thursday and possibly the current events due Thursday and Friday.
Because even though I'm not at school, I'm still able to feel at school!

Song of the day is Vegas Lights by Panic! at the Disco
As always,
Stay classy.

Updates from the editing room.

Hello fellow Internet educators.
I'm in film class right now, Jacob is sitting (well standing) Beside me telling me too call you fuck faces. Which isn't going too happen because I'd rather not.

My group is currently editing our film, so I don't have much too do. I'm just updating for the sake of it. I mean nothing has really happened today except my uninterrupted hatred of math. I swear too god that Mrs. T hates all of us or something. Because the patterns she gave us were complete bull.

I don't really know what all I should talk about, but writing gives me something too do. Plus I like it.

I guess I'll tell you a bit about my plans for today.
I'm going on a solo adventure. I plan on trekking up and attempting to find something too do. And hopefully not be attacked. because I am a very pretty girl walking around a scary collage campus by myself. It would be terrible if something was to happen too me.
Okay so it wouldn't be that bad, but still.


I don't really want too walk Up alone. But no one wants to come with me. So alone in the heat I shall go. Jacob is Brooke's boyfriend by the by.

I think i've mentioned that! oh yeah I did but there weren't any links.
Okay that's it from the editing room.
Song of the day is Bulletproof love by Peirce the Veil. (Thank Brooke.)
As always,
Stay classy.

Walks into my blog three days late with, you guessed it, Starbucks.

Hello Internet hooligans.
I see you little rebels out there breaking your updating schedules, little rascals. Wait, that's just me? Oh okay.

So you haven't really missed much in the last few days. I had some homework and took some twelve hour naps.

But you wanna know about the romance right? Well, I'll tell you.

It didn't go well. I tried going too lunch with him for three days in a row. All three days turned out to be a major bust. And yeah, it was a chip in my shoulder at first, but now I'm not so hurt. Busy lives make hard too reach people. Plus he's still a chill dude, and maybe we'll hang out in the same circles eventually.

I stayed after school today and got married. (okay this is a long story so put on your big person pants and sit down too listen.)

So in America gay marriage is illegal most places. And you have to be eighteen to get married.(I think, someone correct me if you want too.)
And recently, the government in the U.S. shut down. So my friend (now wife until the government comes back into order.) BB and I decided too get married! We had my friend Zuhyr marry us (Zoo-hair) and it was very beautiful.

I'm really freaking tired and have homework. Math, icky icky math. I'm sorry if you enjoy math. But it's gross.
Song of the day is Nicotine by Panic at the Disco
As always,
Stay classy.

Friday, I'm in love!

Special Friday post Go! 

So I didn't post yesterday because I was asleep. Apparently I ate a burger in my sleep though. It was in and out in my defense.

And today was kinda amazing. I'm not going to go into details but I did something kinda brave and it had a cool result. Oh and Brooke (cooper) and Jacob are finally together. (Most of us have been waiting since freshmen year) 

So I'm feeling pretty good. I hope you are too. I've decided I'm going to try and upstate this everyday but who knows if I really will or not, but it will be updated. Yeah, I pinky swear.

Song of the day is Everyday by Buddy Holly. And ve got this friend by The Civil Wars.

No links because I'm on a mobile.

As always,

Stay classy.

Busy Bee Excuse.

Hello fellow Internet Procrastinators,

So I'm not going to have an excuse this time. We both know that I fucked up. Sorry.

But I can sum up the last few days in one word. Hell.

Being gone for two days has sent my grades into a tailspin and me into a frenzy. I am so busy trying to get caught up, that I completely spaced on catching you up. I feel like I need a major vacation from school, and I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving break.

But I'll be okay, I know I'm not doing so hot as a person right now. And I'm pushing people, and things I love, away. Apparently these are all symptoms of "Loose ends-itus." Okay, so we both know that's not a thing. It should be, but it's not.

School was hellish today, I'm so worried about getting perfect grades it's causing me too panic. Math is an excellent example of "What the fuck do I do here?" times. (P:s Did you know that fuck is the only infix in the English language. Pretty fanfuckingtastic, don't ya think?) I understood the things really basically but I wouldn't have been fast enough too finish it on my own, and I had too copy off a friend, after they made me prove I could do it. And I figured out a problem they didn't get.

Science is proving a challenge too.. an NC challenge but I think I can improve it..

Oh yeah, and I'm an asshole and hurt everything I hold dear, and Im thinking about just not trying to fix anything anymore.
Except school. Maybe I'll just stop having friends all together. Who knows....

I am in this melting pot of headaches and I don't know how to get out and maybe no one is reading this anymore because it's not like I'm talking important stuff anymore.
I'm cold.
Song of the day is R.I.P by 3oh!3
As always,
Stay classy.

Illness and Unforseen Events.

Well hello fellow Internet outcasts,

I'm still sick! And I stayed home from school again today. So there isn't really much to talk about. I slept a lot and haven't stopped coughing.

So I'm going to give a quick update to the situation with BioMom.

She's talking to me again, checked in the other day to see how I was doing. She even sounded sympathetic. But in all honesty I don't believe it. But what the hell good for her, finally acting like the adult.

But that's all I have for you today, really, I'm just trying to make sure I don't fall behind on homework. Two days at Ipoly is like three weeks at most schools. Probably why I love it so much, finally a school that can keep up.

Today's song of the day is This is Gospel by Panic at the Disco dedicated to Vivian Because I miss her.

As always,
Stay classy.

Sickness.

Omfgee hey you guys, so I got this horrendous sickness in me right now and I'm staying home from school tomorrow. I was going to make a post but then I started coughing, it wasn't pretty. Any way that's why there's no real post tonight. Sorry again.

Get well soon!

Song of the day was going to be Be Calm by Fun. Buuut I'm posting from mobile again.

Germanic Spanglish and Cheese Sticks.

Hello Internet Explorers, (been avoiding that one, if you can tell  why.)

I didn't post yesterday because I found out my cat whose been my cat for sixteen years ,and has been alive for twenty-two, is dying. Very sad, I literally slept all day.

But now I'm back and here to recap the interesting stuff from Monday and today.

So we all know that Van Slog has too be the worst Spanish teacher in the history of the subject, but she got worse. I go into Spanish class about five minutes late (Because really I'm not worried about being late too her class, it's not like I'm going to miss anything.) to a new seating arrangement. Not really caring because I'm sat next to people I can copy off of, I continue with what I do in her class (Doodle mostly, and pass notes back to Omar.)
All was well in my little universe, until she started speaking German. Now I don't understand Spanish, and sometimes English freaks me out too. But fucking German, really Van Slog? Why was it necessary to give me even more of a Monday blues headache, who knows.

After that it was a pretty normal day, except in history. Omar, Jacob, Khris, Louis, and I had to write a children's book about the British invasion of China, and the Opium war. Seriously the best in class project so far, I had a lot of fun coming up with the story with this group of guys. Plus it was adorable watching Omar and Jacobs face's light up with glee at every new idea we added.

Today, however, was a very uneventful day.
Now I mean that in the most amazing way possible. The teachers noticed pretty much everyone was in a bit of a funk. So they almost gave us the day off.
My day started with being flirted with by the Starbucks barrista. (I think we should have a tally for how many times I mention Starbucks in the year....) Which brightened my dark morning, plus I got to have a pumpkin spice latte, which is amazingly fall-esque and made me happy. But because of my little habit, I arrived to PE about fifteen minutes behind. I repeat, I arrived to PE fifteen minutes late with a Starbucks. (Life goal achieved, if you don't get the joke click here to be redirected to knowyourmeme.) We were running, which is gross, and I am sick right now. (I'm usually sick. Constantly because when you say "Don't hug me, I'm sick and don't want to get you sick!" It makes me want too hug you more....) So I sat this one out.
Step one on a good day, lazy PE hour.

Next was Geometry. The class that I have gotten so frazzled in Mrs. Thinnes has given me candy to make me feel better. And boy was I not looking forward too it. But wait, what was that on the board? Homework wasn't due and all I had was fifteen vocab words? Hallelujah.
Step two on an awesome day, No math.

I have Mrs. Thinnes for elective too, and my elective is film. I am sick and needed to put forth effort to act. Talk about not fun. But I got to visit my FAVORITE TEACHER MRS. EDWARDS (She is sorta the reason I've continued to pursue writing as an actual carrier. Seriously with out her, I wouldn't have made this blog or my writing blog. She is amazing, both as a teacher and author. I'll put up her link eventually.)
Step three too an amazeballs day, A fed Edwards.

And then there was lunch.
Step four to a super mega foxy awesome hot day, A fed Baugus.

We finished our day off with Hogans. Who every explicitly told us "You've been writing too much, let's goof off a bit." Seriously Mr. Hogan gets what it's like to be a student. Bored, tired, on the brink of tears. But he always squeezes thought into us, which is what an English teacher is supposed too do. Make you think.
Step Five to a wonderful day, Understanding.

Song of the day is Disco Inferno by The Trammps and I Got Mine by The Black Keys brought to us by the infinitely awesome Jake (the Junior....)
As always,
Stay classy.

Three Day's Lost, and a Long Ass Story.

Okay so I'm going to forget our normal greetings. There is no "hey Internet!" today.

I'm going to explain exactly why I didn't make any posts since Tuesday.
Okay to preface, I am physically okay, what has happened over the course of the last three days has not physically effected me (unless you count moderate soreness and head aches) My BioMom is at fault but there is nothing we can do about it. So please don't try reporting this anywhere. I don't figure anyone would but as a precaution, don't do it.

Now I've began using the term BioMom because the woman who gave birth to me is not who I identify as my mother. She was called Mom in many of my other posts, because I will not use her name in these for fear of her finding this blog. So she will be called BioMom from this point onwards. This doesn't mean I was adopted (BioMom is a term, as I understand, is commonly used by people who were adopted. I have simply disowned my BioMom and in my daily life I call her by her first name.)

On Tuesday night BioMom caused major drama. All had been well that day, school went awesome, I had gotten a few complements, and spent the day taking "Me" time. Just making sure I was okay. I had talked to a new kid, who for the first six months of school freshmen year I called "beanie kid." It was just an awesome day, even if I was a tad bit sad. Then I got home and my uncle had come to visit! How awesome was that, good day at school and my favorite sassy gay uncle was here to say hello. After talking with him for a solid thirty minutes, I gave him and BioMom some "adult time" to catch up. So I said "Hey, let's go see what the O'neills are up too!" (The O'neills are my old babysitters, they live like a house down from me. I think I've mentioned them before...) So I go over and I find, much to my happy surprise, JoeLove. JoeLove is a family friend to the O'neills and just a cool dude. And we had an amazing conversation about life and moving forward and doing awesome stuff!
So far the day sounds awesome right? Well I go home and I get told to take my shower, no big, I had requested first dibs anyway. Uncle Rainbow pulls me aside and we just chat for a little bit, because remember he was having "adult time" up until this point. (To clarify, adult time is time when BioMom talks to the people over eighteen because anyone under that certain number is an idiot in her eyes.)
We were having a lovely conversation, until Boyfriend comes into the room and starts yelling at me to (In his words.) "Get my fucking shit done,BioMom is irritated." Although I was taken back a bit, I complied. Taking my shower. While attempting to put on skinny jeans after a shower (Talk about impossible.) I hear BioMom screaming through the door, shouting for people to "Get the fuck out of my fucking room, you ungrateful little bitch." At this point I started to tear up, obviously she was talking about me. Then she started screaming at my uncle, who was trying to calm her down. She started screaming again about how she worked six days a week and no one did anything to help her and no one cared.

That's when I got upset. No one cared? Well excuse me while I stand here, fucked up by her constant drinking, smoking, depression, YEARS without a job. How I started to basically raise myself when I turned six. Because no one cares, I didn't stand by her and defend her and her life choices. I didn't grow up at seven to take care of her. Nope, because no one cares.

Then came more yelling. This time it's Nana. She's upset for some reason or another. Boyfriend comes into the room I share with his kid unannounced to yell at me to wash pans. But it wasn't my dish night, tonight was Autumns night. I expressed my confusion and he said "We can't tell whose they were so they are yours."
That made me mad. Really really angry. Now add that too the anger and upset from my mothers screaming fit and I'm filled. One more yell and I would burst. And guess who decided too make a snide comment? Nana. (Told you you would hear about them again.) She barks at me "If I can't see myself in those dishes, you'll do them again, I don't care about your homework." and that's it. I start whispering to myself the phrase "can you not?" and then I keep repeating it, and then I'm yelling it. And I can't stop. She then throws a remote at me and stomps off to her room. Boyfriend starts yelling at me and god, he's pointing his hands in my direction. And I can't stand it. He looks at me like I'm an idiot, like I have no brain function. Like I'm not human.
I throw down the pot that I'm washing, and run to my shared room to put on shoes and a cardigan. Then I run outside, quietly closing the door behind me. I call BB and silently scream out all my problems and cry. I'm walking around my neighborhood at nearly ten and I just don't know what to do. BB talks me down, way down. And I'm finally able to go back inside.

Now with that story out of the way and how very wordy I was with it think about that story just getting ten times worse everyday. Highlighted phrases from each days fights include.
(these will be bold-ed and caps-ed based on anger and VOLUME)
Wednesday: "YOU'RE JUST A STUPID TEENAGER."- Boyfriend
Thursday: "With all due respect, you may be dating my mother, but you are not my father."- me
Friday: "YOU ARE A DISAPPOINTMENT."- BioMom

Shit got real. And after that I didn't speak to my mom for four days, until Friday, when she told me what a terrible person I was.

So I decided I was done standing by her. And I'm done defending her.

And that's also why I wasn't posting. But there was some awesome shit to come this week too,
-I'm now varsity Improv (Thanks Andrew :D)
-I'm entering a fiction competition
-My group got an AP on our flag. Meaning we passed.
This weeks song of the week is It's Nice too Be Alive by Ball Park Music brought too us by BB
As always,
Stay classy.
And stay strong.

Shit Guys,

Hello darlings dears and doves.

I'm sorry, but tonight there will be no recap, it's too late and stuff went down with Mom. I'll double post tomorrow and let you know about it and tomorrows recap too.

Thank you for your understanding. Love you guys, goodnight <3

 Song of the day is Animal by Miike snow. Sorry no link, on a mobile.

As always,

Stay classy.

Mercury.

Hello Internet Titian's,
So today was kinda wonderful in an odd sorta way.

I'm going to jump right in, today I was exposed to mercury.
So I know what you're thinking "Um what the fuck child are you okay?" The answer to that is yes I'm fine, and it was quite the adventure.

North house was in Shillers class, science, and we were meant to be doing a science experiment. So everyone was going up to grab their materials. Various types of things, yeast, coke, rockstar, and of course thermometers. One of the thermometers just so happened to contain mercury. My friend Smith just so happened to get a wonky one, which the top was broken off of. So the long hollow tube fell and shattered.

We didn't know it had mercury at first, so Schiller was just going to lecture us. Then Smith started pushing the broken glass with his shoe, when Schiller announced "Oh great, it has mercury in it."
The class went quite and there was mumbles of "Oh hell we're going to die." and "who did that? ohmygosh!"
Schiller herded us into the back of the class, then quickly evacuated us. We went to Van Slogs (Ewwww Spanish twice a day!) and watched some documentary on endangered species. All the while I tried comforting Smith.

Over all it was a pretty decent day. And eventful too, maybe tomorrow I'll tell you about Ipoly relationships.
Song of the day is Video Games by The Young Professionals (cover Lana Del Ray) brought to you by Vivian
As always,
Stay classy.

Disney Prince Friends

Hello Internet royalty!

Today was a very large mix of good and bad. A very large mixture, but it ended marvelously enough so there is a bright side. 
And although today was host to many cool things to talk about. (My and Brooke's anniversary, an amazing lunch, the finished flag.)
I'm going to talk about amazing friends and Disney Princes.

But before I do that, let me say one thing. When you start freaking out, and your parents push on you harder. Don't break. Don't bend. And don't waver. You are just as strong as they are. And they can't hold you back. High school is one moment in life, you'll be okay. And you'll find a Disney prince to tell you that too. <3

I have this friend who will go unnamed, but if he reads this he'll know it's him, who has been just that. A friend. As I said I had a lot of lows today, and I've been thinking very seriously about leaving Ipoly for a simpler school, I told him about this and he said I shouldn't go. Because then who would he do drama with? (at this point I was smiling, and giggling happily) I told him the stress had been getting at me lately, and pulling me way low. To which he responded,
"I'm here if you ever need a shoulder to cry on :)"
How Disney prince is that?!
All in all it cheered me up, reminding me that having awesome people like that around is really important.
That's all for me today, there will be a post tomorrow, I feel like I owe it too you, plus I'm getting a hair cut! So that constitutes adventure.

Today's song is Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood
As always,
Stay classy.

Pain in the Neck.

Hello fellow Internet watchers.

My neck is literally killing me, slowly, with great effort on my part not to die.
Today was really boring in all honesty. I didn't do much today except fall asleep during Spanish (also known as hell) and trekked all the way up to Starbucks at lunch with Vivian (Still not being payed by them, sadly...)

I've basically been depressed and doing all kinds of homework all week.
So I really have nothing to talk about, unless you want to know more about Ipoly and what it's like?
Or maybe about my friends?
I should really have like a stockpile of ideas so if I run into day's like this that are just so dull.

Honestly I have nothing today. I hope you guy's are doing well, I'm going to go do homework.

Blues.

Hello fellow Internet philosophers,
How are you doing today, and be honest, because I'm not doing so hot.
But all whining aside, I have stuff to fill you in on! Seriously, I haven't posted since last Thursday! That's almost a million dog years, you know. (Yay, starting today with lame ass jokes.)

Thursday went boringly enough, the only exciting part was improv auditions, which I was unable to talk about because the team didn't know if they made it or not. Good news! Jordan (a sophomore whose link I do not have) Vivian, and Brooke made the improv junior varsity team. Major excitement there.

Friday was short and stressful, as they are. Nothing really interesting happened.

Saturday is where things got interesting. As you know, sophomores at Ipoly participate in a Pseudo-Olympics, meant to enrich our minds and invigorate our bodies. In reality it stresses us the fuck out and makes us very irritable. The first component to this is the flag of whatever country you got, my country is Greece. You and your group have to make the flag.
With these perimeters my group and I decided to sew ours. We were under the impression that it would look better (It does) but that involved a seven hour group meeting. I had a lot of fun and we got a metric shit ton done, so it made up for it a bit.

Sunday I was sick as a dog. I did literally nothing but lay in bed and edit my other blog For my writing, check it out if you want. (If you do visit my other blog, then wait a minute for the nice font's too load. They look nicer then the default one's they give you.) I went to Starbucks at one point (I'd like to take a moment to say, Starbucks don't pay me. I just have an addiction to their multitude of coffees and teas.) and they knew me as soon as I walked in. A sign I frequent there all too often.

Nothing happened on Monday.

And today, well today was your normal day at Ipoly. We played bad mitten in P:E (in preparation for Olympics.) I got confused as to which class I was supposed to be in, which is completely normal. Then we went to elective and story boarded our door scenes (I wasn't paying attention, like I said, I'm pretty down so today was kinda bland for me.) Then me, Brooke, Vivian, and Kenzie went to lunch, only to be joined by Eman, Jacob, and Nathaly. (Pronounced Natalie) Then I learned how to format a paper in Hogans.

The biggest stuff that happened today, happened after school. Everyone was confused as too why I didn't audition for the big Musical. In all honesty, I don't think I can do it. I expend so much of my energy focusing on being okay, and school, and dealing with home issues, that I don't have any extra to spare. Or maybe I'm just sad, and I don't want to do it because I'd have to be happy for an extra three hours every Tuesday and Wednesday. I really don't know which it is, but I know I'm exhausted, and I can't take too much.
I'm scared of finally snapping, and eventually I'll just start falling apart...
But those thoughts are a little too heavy for the third week of school.
(Update since I first wrote this. I'm feeling a little bit better.)

The song of the day is Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood
As always,
Stay Classy.

Savage Wars of Peace.

Hello fellow Internet floaters.

No post tonight, some really personal issues have come up. To personal for the blog even.

Maybe I'll let you know about it soon.

As always,
Stay classy.

OMFG SCHEDULED UPDATE!!!!!

So now that I have your attention, you may have noticed an absence on last Friday.
That's because I didn't post.

I've decided that i'm taking Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off to recover and work on homework and projects.
The only loopholes to the new schedule is if we have an event or something over the weekend.
But yeah that's about it, have a lovely night.
As always,
Stay classy.

Mashed Potato's.

Hello fellow Internet pirates!

I'm in the middle of doing history homework, way to go imperialism, and it got me thinking about life compared to the British invasion of Africa. (okay so I understand how that is a bit of a stretch, but keep this in mind you should be made of rubber by now.)

Okay so let's identify the key players in the invasion, Britain (obviously), Africa (also obvious), and pride.

Now what caused Britain to invade Africa? Pride, Necessity, and Social Darwinism (basically a really weird way of rationalizing the "I'm better then you because of these reasons" mentality, super lame.)

Now let's pull that into life. Say you're Africa, just chilling out and not doing much, eating some grub of your choice. Then all of a sudden some huge douche nozzle slaps your grub out of your hands and said "You're my slave for the rest of the year!"

That would suck majorly, now let's think about why they did it. Britain (the douche nozzle that owns you as of late.) had some sort of pride, that's how they were able to so confidently stride over and mess with you. Then they had the necessity, obviously Britain (not the actual place the person we are using in this example.) isn't that smart, or they would have realized that picking on you was a bad idea. So they need someone to do their history homework for them. (necessity!) And lastly, there's Social Darwinism. Basically, Britain is rich, like rolling in the dough could own the school if they wanted. They think they are better then you because of that.

Did you under stand that? If yes, then you understand the beginning parts of the spread of the Imperialist Empire.

And now I relate this all back to life and Ipoly. 

Sometimes life and school feel like and Imperialist empire sorta trying to screw you over, just because they think they are better, or in Ipoly's case, need you to be prepared. You just have to accept that right now, in your Pre-industry African state (I mean being a teenager btw.), you can't fight life. But one day, after life and school have gotten you down long enough you can rise up and start a revolution (Go to collage and get a job and do what you want to do.)

Okay, so that was a bit of a stretch, but it's good to give your brain some exercise.

The song of the day is Safe and Sound by Capitol Cities

Also we have a video of the day courtesy of Brooke, it's a cool little vlog explaining our friendship, check it out.

As always,

Stay classy.

Sophomore Milestones.

Hello fellow Internet Vagabonds,

Today was less bad then yesterday, but still pretty bad. But I've hit a few "Sophomore Milestones." and that sorta makes up for it. I'm still swamped with homework and various other things, but today was a filled day so it is my civic duty to inform you of all the going's on in the world of Ipoly.

Milestone number one is "The Door Scene." This is all apart of Film Creation, a mandatory elective for all sophomores. It's mandatory for a reason we'll find out second semester, apparently. It's really fun, and it helped take my mind off things. In my Film group I happened to get lucky and get Vivian! Which is overly exciting. I also got Genesis and Kinzy, whose a total sweetheart. We did the door scene with Gen as production manager, Vivian as cinematographer, and Kinzy as enthusiastic actress. It went really well, with Vivi's steady hand and well knowledge of angles it looked awesome for a first cut.

Then there was Milestone number two, I walked into an old freshmen class and harassed the teacher and begged to use the facility's of the door for our scene. Every sophomore goes through this, and I'm proud to say I survived.

I also survived my first real test of group project work, and damn are we working well with each other. I'm kinda in love with how smooth everything is running. Of course there will be rushing water under our precariously placed bridge, but we'll get through it together.

Now I'm going to gush about my house teacher, Hogan. He is one of the most amazing teachers I've ever had. I've alerted him to Mom numbering me, and he gave me this advice.
"Work hard, and you'll be okay."

That may not sound like much but it was something I needed to hear.

Today's song is Cosmic Love by Florence and the Machine

As always,
Stay classy.

Numbers.

Hello fellow Internet Searchers.

Sorry for the lateness of the post, but life got pretty hectic leading up here. But do not despair, this too shall pass.

But onto today's story.
It's short because it's late, but it's still important.

If you ever plan on becoming a parent or are a parent, don't put a number on your kid. Mom did that to me tonight. And it never feels good, but Mom added an extra bit of pain and misery by threatening one of the only things I love, Drama. It's wasn't even reasonable, she said 3.0 minimum and A's are expected.

How was I supposed to react to that?

So trust me, and I speak from experience, don't push a number onto your kid. Tell them to do their best. And if you raised them right, it will be good enough.

Song of the day is This is Gospel by Panic at the Disco!
As always,
Stay classy.

And for god's sake, don't fall into the trap of numbers. It's not worth it.

Tired.

Hello fellow Internet pathfinders,

Sorry today's post will be so late/short. Ipoly really takes a lot out of you.
So!
I figured since I'm so tired, and this isn't really a day recap like usual, that I would try something different.

I'm going to explain what drew me to Ipoly. Because you know a lot about me, but not exactly why I chose Ipoly in the first place.

It all started out back in the eighth grade, I was a strange child and had quite the list of issues (which have yet to deplete) my friend Danny brought me an application for the school International Polytechnic High School. I was immediately confused and wasn't convinced of the schools awesomeness until he said. "They have an awesome drama department and are basically Hogwarts." To which I responded "Oh my gosh when can I apply?"

Then came what I guess is called freshmen night, where all the clubs and teachers and pretty much the whole school tries to get people to come and join Ipoly. Which is where I saw improv.
And boy was I in love.

Improv is basically the best thing on the existence of planet earth. You get to pal around and make jokes and play pretend. And while I was in improv I made some of the best friends possibly imaginable. But that was drama for me as a whole.

So improv pulled me in and the teachers made me stay. Despite how crazy things are, I'm super excited to be starting up improv and drama soon. Thursdays where feeling lonely.

Today's song is "Fuck Up" by Shane Dawson for the large amount of cursing we did in improv last year!
As always,
Stay classy.

Kale.

Hello fellow Internet Vagabond,

Today was significantly less hectic then yesterday, so much so there isn't really much to talk about. The day can be broken down into three parts;

* Spanish (AKA The Eternal Hell That is Miss V's Class)
* Lunch
* Groups

And that's what today's post is going to follow, no pop ups or surprises (unless I get bored.)
Let's dive in shall we?

California state collages require you to have three years of a foreign language to get into the school. Now this could be any language, like French., but Ipoly insists on having it be Spanish. Let me preface this to say I have nothing against people who can speak Spanish, in fact I'm a little jealous, but I hate learning this type of speaking. It is literally the most dull thing I do in my day, and that's while simultaneously disliking math. I have no interest in learning Spanish, nor do I have any want to learn Spanish, so taking this class is wasting an hour and twenty six minutes of my life.

Now that being said, I could handle taking a Spanish class, IF I had a good teacher. I don't happen to have a good teacher, Miss V is the whitest person they could find to teach Spanish class. She's from northern Texas, I would understand if she was close to where they spoke the dialect but she's not! And to top it all off she teaches through song. Not like taking a song from popular media and giving us the Spanish translation, and not actual Spanish songs. They are songs for kindergartners (nursery school for all my Europeans? I just Google'ed European kindergarten so bare with me.) that are supposed to teach basic Spanish phrases and do not accomplish that. Then after we hear a rousing round of "Como te llamas?" (if someone could tell me what that means I'd be in love, thanks.) we do vocab worksheets. Not from a book, and not guided. You pick eight Spanish words you "Don't know" and write them down. I usually put the same eight words and she doesn't notice. I can handle bad subjects (Hate math, love the challenge that it gives me.) but I cannot handle bad teachers.

Lunch at Ipoly is weird. (Okay everything at Ipoly is weird but this is cool weird.) We don't have a cafeteria. And before two years ago we didn't have a building (I say we like I was in "The Portables" which I wasn't but some of my graduated senior friends were and I shadowed in them three or four times so I understand what they talked about.) But because of our lack of caf and our closeness to a collage campus, we eat like collage students. As in Subway and Starbucks, or sushi and Taco Bell. Or if you're really broke there is Vista, a tiny 7/11-esque store run by a very scary man called Bob by most of the sophomores. And I just happened to go Up for lunch today.

Quick vocabulary lesson of my own;\
*Up is where Subway, sushi (which is called Kika), and poly fresh are (poly fresh is another mini mart thing)
*Up-Up is where Panda Express, Taco Bell, Carl's Jr, and Starbucks are.
*Buffet is a buffet
there's also a Denny's on campus but we only ever go there after school or during improve/drama practice, mainly because the line is so damn long during lunch.

Brooke walked me up, she had a sack lunch but alas I did not. I was planning to just get something from Vista (Though I sent Donovan up to Carl's to see if they were open spoiler : they weren't ) but the line was flooded with new freshmen. I finally understood why we were annoying to upper clansmen. Freshmen tend to huddle and spazz out and I can't say I didn't do that because I know I did. (God there were a lot of I's there) So to Up I went with Brooke in tow.

After the walk to Up (which isn't really that long but it was hot and my ankles hurt, don't judge me.) I squirmed through freshmen and senior alike to try and sneak into line to get some food before the lunch hour was over. I gave up on Kika's line and made my way to Poly Fresh the only place that ,no matter how busy it was, never got a line. Brooke and I quickly payed for my lunch and ate peacefully, until we almost left Up late.

Last of the day was getting groups. Sophomore year is divided into two semesters, and you get one group per semester. If you have a bad group, you will have to deal with them for half the year, which some alumni once told me was not fun at all. Lucky for me, my group isn't bad. In fact I'd even say it was pretty good (but that would jinx it so I'm not saying that at all.) Our first big sophomore project is The Olympics. Each house competes with six teams of six that each represent a different country. (My group got Greece) and the first component (Little bits and pieces that make up the whole project) is The Flag. But Greece's flag is pretty easy so!

I'm really looking forward to the remainder of the year, and I hope you are too.

The song of the day is Smooth Criminal by Michel Jackson (cover by Glee) it's good I swear.

As always,
Stay classy.

The First Day.

"You are north house now."

Hello fellow Internet wanderers, glad to see you around again.

Today was the first day, which was terror filled and exciting. I'm sure you may not have started school yet (or maybe you have) in any consolation, congrats on surviving the first day. I understand how that can be a bit of a chore (especially for all you freshies out there) Today was a day of new classes and changed faces. People got taller and sometimes more defined (summer sports can do wonders for mussel growth apparently) Don't worry you shouldn't get too lost, though I did.

The car ride was the same one we took all last year, but something felt different, maybe it was the new shoes, or all the crap they make you carry sophomore year. We (Grandpa and I) pulled up into Ipoly's weird little drive by drop off zone and I stepped out into my first day. And I was bombarded with love, no literally almost immediately after entering I got hugged by Brooke who then told me we were not in the same house (Houses are kinda like homeroom but not.)

Apparently I was in east house, which is the history house, (We're going to have to have a discussion about what houses are, think harry potter but less magic and more acne.) taught by Daily. So we stood there socializing and talking about all the shit we didn't get to do this summer. Until Daily's voice crackled up over the loud speaker to call all the new tenth graders to be respectively introduced to their schedules. I made my way up the sophomore stair case and latched onto the first person I knew, which so happened to be Vivian.

We stood outside of the Spanish room for what seemed like forever, then Thinness strutted up to the door and opened it like none of us were smart enough to try to do. After sitting for about fifteen minutes and looking like a dumbass, I found out that I was in the wrong house.

But how could this be, I had checked the paper, it said east! what was this blasphemy?

Then like ten other people raised their hands saying  "Uh, I think this may not be quite right for me..." Thinness (who shall be known as lady savior for the rest of this post!) took the twelve or so of us away to the MPR where I happily discovered my new home, North house.

And the remainder of the day followed that pattern of scatterbrained tom foolery.

And I'm so painfully excited.

Today's song is New Perspective by Panic at the Disco
As always,
Stay classy.

HELLO CYBER-WORLD

Hello fellow blogger and or Internet juggernaut,

I'm Hunter.
So you could probably go on reading about my life just based off of the little blurb on the side of my blog. If you did that you would be missing all the big stuff. Like how last year I made the ball shattering discovery that I'm not completely straight. Or all the amazing friends that I just so happen to make over the course of freshmen year.

Plus growth.

You missed a lot of growth.

So without further ado, here is the groundwork of me.

I was born in Southern California and lived there until I turned five, after that me and my mom moved to Yuma, Arizona and stayed with my Aunt Mimi. We only stayed with Aunt Mimi for about six months, then my mom remarried to a guy named Mike. (I don't remember his last name, or much about him, only that he was crazy.) We moved in with Mike and stayed in Arizona for another three months before moving to Pennsylvania. Mom, Mike, and I moved in with Mike's Mom. Our time in Pennsylvania was short, because Mike threatened to kill me. So we moved back to California with my mom's parents, Grandpa and Nana (you'll hear more about all three of them later I'm sure.)

I'll bet you were wondering where my Dad was throughout all that? Well, I couldn't honestly tell you.
Mom and Dad were divorced when I was a wee thing (I was like two and a half.) after which I didn't here from Dad until I was nine. So fast forward!

Dad and I started talking to each other via phone calls and emails. It was really awesome to get to know him. He told me about his band and all the awesome things he got to do.
Then he got sick, told me not to worry though.
And then he never responded to my emails.
I found out he died three weeks before I started school. My first year in public school ( I was home schooled by my babysitter Mrs. Dawn** and her kids Shannyn, Bryanna, Heather, and Shaun.)

After that I got really depressed and began self harming, and I self harmed until October 29th of 2012 (or so Mom thought) Mom took me to a mental hospital, where the doctors took me under seventy-two hour surveillance (to judge my mental state and make sure I wasn't a danger to myself) I caved two days in and called Mom to take me home. When Mom got to the hospital to pull me out, I left against medical advice. (which caused problems later on) Mom set up an appointment with some Religious** therapist who told me to pray the suicide away  (READ: never do this, it doesn't work and often times made me feel like I was a fuck-up and that I needed to be fixed)

We're up to my eighth grade year (Nothing really happened during seventh grade except "The Incident" and I met two of my best friends in the who world Danny** and Chloe**.)
Danny introduced me to Ipoly (or International Polytechnic High School) he got me an application and told me I was going. He was always looking out for me.
We both applied and we both got in, but then tragedy, Danny's parents where moving to "The Dust Bowl" for better jobs. Danny and I didn't end up at Ipoly together, but we are still best friends)

I went to Ipoly alone, and left freshmen year with more amazing friends and family then I can properly count.
I've had crushes and fallen hard for the wrong people. I started self harming again but made the choice (about two months ago today *8/15/13*) to stop and get help.

And in five days I'm starting sophomore year.
I'm terrified, but beyond excited.

And that's all you need to know about me really.

As always,
Stay classy.